On a Demon's Day Off
by Yoshiko Kyoda
Summary: The Tantei hardly ever get a day off, especially when demons start attacking humans more frequently forcing them to transform into Detective Senshi in order to hide their real identities! Warning: this fic is on crack
1. Bishounen Senshi Sailor Thorn

This is supposed to have no point whatsoever except to be insane so forgive random randomness!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any other animes mentioned in this story!

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On a Demon's Day Off

**Chapter One: Bishounen Senshi Sailor Thorn**

_Fighting demons by moonlight_

_Runs from fan girls by daylight_

_Attacks with rose pedals all night_

_He is the one named Sailor Thorn_

_He will always stand by his friends_

_N' fight for short people till the end_

_He's running out of cash to spend_

_He is the one named Sailor…_

_Sailor Sniper_

_Sailor Rei Ken_

_Sailor Black Flame_

_Sailor Yusuke_

_With secret admirers _

_All too known for him_

_He is the one named Sailor Thorn_

_Wearing drag by night-light_

_Runs from fan boys by daylight_

_With Sailor Detectives to help fight_

_He is the one named Sailor Thorn_

_He is the one named Sailor Thorn_

He is the one… Sailor Thorn! 

"What a loser song! Turn that shit off!" Yusuke barked over the magazine he was reading.

"Sorry Yusuke." Kurama apologized after hitting the stop button. "I thought we could all use some music playing and that was the only CD I could find…"

"Remind me again why we are at Kuwabara's house and inside his room?" Hiei grumbled in a very ticked off tone.

"We've been having more demon sightings in the Ningenkai so we have to think about what we should do about it." Yusuke explained without looking up from his magazine.

"That still doesn't explain why we have to be here at the fool's house." Hiei snapped.

Yusuke looked up from his magazine and sweat dropped. "My place is a complete mess."

"My mother is very sick." Kurama said sadly.

"She's almost always sick, Kurama. Doesn't she ever get better?" Yusuke questioned.

"Stupid humans… they're so weak… can't even be healthy for a long period of time…" Kurama muttered bitterly.

"So why don't we go to your house Hiei, if it bothers you so much to be over at Kuwabara's?" Yusuke asked while beginning to read his magazine again.

"I live in a tree in Kurama's back yard…" Hiei answered lamely.

"What are you guys talking about?" Kuwabara barged into the room to barge into the conversation.

"None of your business. Where have you been? We've been sitting here in _your_ room for thirty minutes." Hiei growled.

"I had to go to the bathroom…" Kuwabara mumbled.

No one pursued the matter.

"So, about the demons…" Yusuke started but something small, blue, and with a tuft of black hair on the top of its head came out of Yusuke's jacket.

"I have an idea!" Puu said in a very deep voice that did _not_ suit the little fluff ball guy.

"What the hell! You can talk, Puu!" Yusuke exclaimed in surprise and scooted away from Puu.

"Yes, but I thought I would lead you all on like gullible fools into believing that I only made cute 'puu' sounds." Puu laughed evilly as everyone sweat dropped.

"You said you had an idea, Puu?" Kurama asked, pretending he wasn't surprised that Puu could talk because nothing surprises Kurama!

"Yes, didn't you hear me the first time or are you deaf, fox boy?" Puu rolled his eyes.

Kurama was deeply insulted. Only his fan girls could refer to him as fox boy…

"Spit it out already you stupid ball of fluff!" Hiei snapped.

"Very well, three eyes…" Puu cleared his throat after insulting the second member of the tantei. "You must all transform into the Sailor Senshi in order to battle these demons in disguise or you will be seen by humans otherwise." Puu explained.

"Sailor Senshi?" Yusuke wondered.

"You mean like Sailor Moon!" Kuwabara exclaimed excitedly.

All heads turned to Kuwabara. "You mean to say that you actually _watch_ Sailor Moon?" They all asked in unison. Kurama pretended not to be surprised again but we all know he was.

"N-no! Shizuru watches it!" Kuwabara stuttered.

"Um… okay." Everyone didn't believe him too much.

"_Anyway_!" Puu continued. "You should all transform into Sailor Senshi and I will help you out."

"Hey! Then are you supposed to be like Luna or Artemis!" Kuwabara pointed to Puu.

Once again everyone turned to him but this time they all confirmed that it was true. "You _do_ watch Sailor Moon!"

Kuwabara bowed his head in shame.

Puu didn't talk until he was sure he wouldn't get interrupted again. "Now… Kurama, repeat after me," Kurama nodded to show he was listening. "Thorny Rose Power, Make-up."

"Um… okay…" Kurama stood and repeated what Puu told him to say. "Thorny Rose Power, Make-up!" At once he was engulfed by rose pedals and when the rose pedals fell to the floor around him, Kurama was wearing a sailor style fuku with a red ribbon, tiara, and yes… even a skirt. There was also a rose brooch on his chest and matching earrings. The poor fox was even wearing red high heels but Kurama tried to pretend that he wasn't surprised but internally he was very embarrassed at being in a skirt in front of everybody else.

Yusuke fell over, dieing from laughter. "OH MY GOD! KURAMA YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL!" Hiei on the other hand, was too stunned to say anything.

"Who's going to clean up all the rose petals?" Kuwabara asked stupidly since after Kurama's transformation there was an abundance of rose petals scattered about on the floor.

Kurama blushed and turned to the mirror Kuwabara had in his room. Indeed… Kurama looked like a girl… a very _pretty_ girl…

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Kuwabara jumped up and down with glee. "Do we all get pretty fuku and cool transformations, too!"

Puu glared at Kuwabara. "You don't get a cool transformation but you do get to wear Sailor fuku. Although I think that if anybody saw Kuwabara in sailor fuku they would die then and there." Puu shook his head to get the image of Kuwabara in fuku out of his mind.

"Um _hello_! Even if we do this, people would recognize us and think we're weirdoes for running around killing bad guys in SKIRTS!" Yusuke was having trouble with keeping a straight face now that Kurama was wearing a skirt.

"Nope." Puu said matter-of-factly. "No one will recognize you in your disguises because it's… MAGIC! So don't question the magic!"

"Like I'm supposed to believe that…" Yusuke shook his head.

"You _will_ transform and go save the day like good little heroines… I mean heroes!"

"What is this, the Power Puff Girls?" Yusuke muttered incoherently.

Puu fluttered about Yusuke's head angrily. "You're next Yusuke! Yell out: Yusuke Power, Make-up!"

"There's no way in Hell… you could at least come up with something less corny you stupid ball of fluff!" A flustered Yusuke shouted.

"Say it or I'll… kill myself, therefore killing you too!" Puu exclaimed like a mad scientist.

"It works the other way around buddy. Killing yourself would do jack squat to me." Yusuke pointed out.

Puu thought deeply for a few minutes, trying to come up with a decent blackmail to get Yusuke to do his bidding. "Fine then… I'll just tell Keiko about all the porn videos you've hidden in your sock drawer!"

Yusuke winced and was probably thinking about the many ways Keiko would torture him and kill him if she found out about his porn. "All right fine! I'll say your stupid thingy…" Standing, Yusuke didn't meet the eyes of the others as he muttered through clenched teeth, "Yusuke power, make-up…"

There was a bright flash of blue light and when everyone could see Yusuke again, horror struck their faces.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

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Well uh… that's it for chapter one. Hope you enjoyed it and please review on your way out! 


	2. Yusuke, Hiei, and Kuwabara TRANSFORM!

**Chapter Two: Yusuke, Hiei, and Kuwabara TRANSFORM!**

A blinding blue light in the shape of a phoenix smothered Yusuke's body and when the light vanished, Yusuke was wearing a sailor fuku like Kurama's except with a deep blue skirt, ribbon, tiara, earrings, and boots. Yusuke's brooch was a plain blue one that gleamed in the light of Kuwabara's room.

"My Jagan has gone blind!" Hiei shrieked in pain.

"Really?" Kurama asked curiously.

"Of course not, fool." The fire demon shook his head calmly.

"Man, I feel like a woman." Yusuke grumbled.

"I _love_ that song!" Exclaimed Kuwabara, who then received quite a few strange looks.

Yusuke actually didn't look as bad as Kuwabara would in a skirt but _come on_! Imagine a muscular Yusuke clad in a frilly skirt!

"My job isn't very pretty…" Puu muttered under his breath.

"THE HELL IT ISN'T!" Yusuke yelled in a rage. "There's no way that we _won't_ be recognized in these stupid skirts. Everyone will think we've gone whacko because we're dudes in skirts!"

"Don't question the magic!" Puu growled angrily. "No one will suspect a thing. They will just think you are the heavenly Detective Senshi that have come to save them from their sorry fates."

Yusuke shook his head in annoyance. "The only one of us that will be able to pass off as a girl is Kurama! And they'll just think he's flat chested."

"I AM NOT!" Kurama protested in his own defense, because we all know Kurama really wants to be a girl. Damn Shiori for Kurama being born a man! No wait… that's his dad's fault… but anyway!

The spirit detective gone Rocky Horror Picture Show promptly walked over to Kurama and calmly pulled the sailor fuku so Yusuke could look down a now blushing Kurama's shirt. "Nope. He's flat chested all right."

"Don't sound disappointed, Yusuke." Hiei remarked snidely.

"Yusuke, you pervert, stop looking down my shirt!" Kurama squealed like a high school girl and slapped Yusuke before running away to the other side of the room for safety.

"Kurama doesn't slap as hard as Keiko." Yusuke noted in surprise, rubbing his cheek where the back of Kurama's hand had made contact.

Irritated, Puu cleared his throat. "That's quite enough of feeling up man boobs so let's go on, shall we?"

"I WASN'T FEELING KURAMA'S MAN BOOBS!" Yusuke shouted in his defense.

"Now it's Hiei's turn." The small blue stuffed animal rounded on the fire demon, which backed away at once.

"Two words for you: Hell. No." Hiei let out a low growl to show he would rather die before becoming a Detective Senshi.

Puu shook his fist at Hiei threateningly. "You _will_ transform like Kurama and Yusuke."

Glancing at the girly looking Kurama in his skirt and then the very wrong combination of Yusuke's masculine figure and the frilly skirt, Hiei then turned back at Puu giving the little fluff ball a "You got to be shitting me" look.

"You have to do it since we had to." Yusuke reasoned in mild amusement/anger. "Besides that black cloak of yours is close enough to a dress anyway."

"It's NOT a dress!" Hiei barked.

"I'll give you sweet snow later if you transform, Hiei." Kurama offered in a voice that resembled a parent trying to bribe their own child. But as much as Hiei really wanted some sweet snow he did not give in.

That's when the little blue fluff ball, also known as Puu, fluttered around Hiei's head and then whispered in a very devious tone, "It'll give you more power."

"Power!" Hiei demanded. "Quick! What do I say to transform!"

Chuckling to himself, Puu answered, "Black Flames, Make-Up."

Laughing evilly, Hiei threw his right hand into the air and exclaimed with sadistic glee, "Black Flames, Make-Up!" At once the black flames from the underworld forced their way up through Kuwabara's floor in the form of a black dragon and consumed Hiei.

"Oh my God! Look at what that shrimp did to my floor!" Kuwabara shrieked. "Shizuru is going to freak and make me pay for it!"

"Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for our mission, Kuwabara." Puu explained because in fact he could care less if Kuwabara's entire house burned down, just as long as he was still inside.

"Um… guys? The flames aren't going out." The redhead demon pointed out as objects around Hiei were starting to catch fire, too.

"Ugh… someone get some water to throw on him." Puu ordered and immediately Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara ran out of Kuwabara's bedroom and they each came back with a bucket of water and promptly threw the water on Hiei. The flames disappeared and Hiei was standing slightly wet with his fuku on, not very happy to say the least. Unlike Kurama and Yusuke, Hiei's fuku was entirely black leather. Instead of a skirt, he wore extremely short shorts. The sailor-like collar was still there but the top exposed much of Hiei's upper body and if he were actually a girl it would've shown a lot of cleavage. Then there were the long black leather gloves and boots plus a golden tiara with a blood red jewel in the center. You could say that Hiei was mildly irritated but since Hiei is so good looking anyway, it doesn't matter.

"He looks… um…" Kurama blinked twice and tried to find a suitable word to describe Hiei.

"Kinky and Sexy!" Puu finished.

There was a long drawn out silence in which all four guys took a few steps away from Puu.

Realizing what he had said, Puu glanced around nervously. "What! It's not like I look up Hiei hentai on the Internet!"

Once again there was a long pause, but Kuwabara decided to break it. "Hey, the shrimp kind of looks like one of the Sailor Star Lights."

"Be quiet you Sailor Moon loving fool." Hiei snapped.

"And uh… now it's Kuwabara's turn to transform." Puu declared, trying to have everyone forget what he said earlier.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke screamed in unison before fleeing from the room.

"Um… anyway! Kuwabara, to transform you must say: Rei Ken Power, Make-Up." Explained the little blue fluff ball as if everyone should've known what was coming.

"Yay! It's my turn now! I wonder what my sailor fuku will look like! Will my transformation be cool, too!" Kuwabara bounced around the room squealing with glee like a junior high school girl.

"SHUT UP AND SAY IT BEFORE I GO INSANE!" Puu hollered at the top of his little lungs.

Obediently, Kuwabara followed Puu's instructions. "Rei Ken Power! Make! Up!" Kuwabara exclaimed dramatically just like the real Sailor Senshi would've done. And with a pathetic flash of yellow light, Kuwabara was transformed.

Not that anybody cares.

In fact, Kuwabara looked more like he was wearing a tutu than a sailor fuku. So to save me time and effort, you all can just imagine what Kuwabara looks like yourself, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Finally, Puu cleared his throat and declared in a voice that commanded authority, "For our first mission…" The stuffed animal wanna-be paused to think for a moment and then continued dramatically. "We shall hunt down Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke for running away. Then! We will go fight the demons and fulfill our true mission. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"KA… ZU… MA…!" Came the angry and furious voice of Kuwabara's older sister. "WHY THE HELL IS THERE A HOLE IN YOUR FLOOR AND WHY ARE ROSE PETALS EVERYWHERE!"

"Uh oh… every man for himself!" Puu cried out and disappeared into spandex space.

**To Be Continued**

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Yes, I know. I must be shot and condemned to an eternity in hell for not updating in so long. 


	3. Ice Cream Trucks and Demons

**Chapter Three: Ice Cream Trucks and Demons**

Welcome back to the story entitled: "On a Demon's Day Off"! We last left off at a convenient cliffhanger just to spite the readers, not that any of them reviewed. But after Kuwabara managed to escape the wrath of his smoking, alcoholic drinking, and sixth sensing older sister in a scene that you won't even be seeing, the stupid character that most people hate found his self in the park.

"Ku-ra-ma! U-ra-me-shi! Hi-ei! Puuuuu!" Kuwabara called out to his missing teammates in vain. "Where are you?"

Scanning the nearby benches where there was obviously no one there, Kuwabara saw the bushes rustle and kneeled down for a closer look. Concealed within the leaves of the bush was a small mysterious figure. "Puu?" Kuwabara asked hesitantly.

"Pikachu!" Pikachu exclaimed cheerfully with its red cheeks sparking slightly.

"WTF! What's Pikachu doing in a Yu Yu Hakusho fic!" Kuwabara demanded the small pokemon to answer, even though there are Sailor Moon elements in this story as well.

"I'm obviously not a plot point or a significant bad guy later in this story." Pikachu rolled its brown eyes sarcastically.

"Nah, of course not. You're too cute." Kuwabara smiled stupidly and hugged the yellow electric pokemon.

"Idiot…" Pikachu muttered and then scampered away to start up a pokemon Nazi army that would have Yu-Gi-Oh card burnings and ally themselves with the fake rubber monsters from Power Rangers.

"KUWABARA!" A random voice shouted to draw Kuwabara's attention away from the cute pokemon he had just come across.

Spinning around dramatically, Kuwabara came face to face with Puu. "What do you want Puu?"

"I want you to forget the plot point you just saw and help me find Yusuke and the others." Puu ordered.

"But where could they all be?" Kuwabara asked aloud, forgetting that he was standing in the middle of a park wearing a tutu and talking to a stuffed animal. People were starting to stare…

That's when he heard a faint noise coming closer. It was a cheerful melody playing at a rapid speed, like a chipmunk on crack. It was… a speeding ice cream truck!

"MWAHAHAHAHAH! No stupid human can stop me now!" Hiei declared and sped past Kuwabara and Puu in a hijacked ice cream truck, nearly hitting a tall, lean guy with dark brown hair.

"That's the _second_ time I've almost gotten run over by an ice cream truck!" The random guy exclaimed, throwing his arms up into the air.

"Who're you?" Kuwabara asked the random guy.

However, Puu answered before the guy could. "He's just the authoress' boyfriend; Hiei's _really_ going to get it now." The tune of the speeding ice cream truck was beginning to fade and Puu jerked his tiny paw in the direction Hiei had gone. "After him!"

At that very moment, the ice cream truck was struck by lightning as revenge by the authoress. "Holy shit!" Kuwabara exclaimed.

Then Hiei emerged from the sizzling ice cream truck, cursing and twitching from the electrical shock. "Damn you, Yoshiko…"

That's when Yusuke and Kurama stepped out of a nearby shop to see what the commotion was about. Puu fluttered up to Hiei, Yusuke, and Kurama. "Where _were_ you guys! Never mind, I don't care! We've got a mission to complete."

Before any of them could ask a question, a woman shrieked in fright, alerting our favorite foursome (Ew! Minus Kuwabara, that is!) A swarm of demons were flooding into the town square, attacking innocent bystanders… standing by the square.

"The square is fair teeming with goblins!" Kurama exclaimed as if he were in the Fellowship of the Ring.

"Now, everyone! Transform, damn it!" Puu ordered. They all nodded with a determined look on their faces.

"Thorny Rose Power, Make-up!" Kurama shouted in his sexy Megumi Ogata voice. A flurry of soft rose petals from the rose brooch that had suddenly appeared on Kurama's bosom, surrounded him. The petals fused together to become the elastic material of the main fuku and a rose red skirt sprouted from Kurama's waste. More petals fused together to become the sleek white gloves and shiny red high heels, while the red jeweled-tiara, choker, and earrings appeared in a small flash of light. Then to finish the transformation, the red-haired fox demon struck a pose in front of a large rose symbol while the remaining petals fell to the ground.

"Yusuke Power, Make-up!" Yusuke yelled, enthusiastically. A blinding wave of brilliantly blue spirit energy burst forth, swallowing Yusuke. The sailor fuku appeared first, and then encircled Yusuke's masculine hips with a deep blue skirt. A white fabric appeared at the tip of Yusuke's fingers and stretched all the way down to his elbows. His dark blue boots appeared in the same way, all the way up to his knees. The tiara, earrings, and choker appeared in a small glimmer of blue spirit energy. Finally, Yusuke struck a pose and the light of his spirit energy faded.

"Black Flames, Make-up!" Hiei exclaimed with sadistic glee. An opening in the earth connected this world to Hell, unleashing the black flames of darkness. Unfortunately, some poor guy fell in the opening and burned to death. But for all we know he could've been a bad guy! Anyway, Hiei's clothes burned in the extreme heat and disappeared into ash. Instead, the dark flames surrounded his torso and lower body, forming the tough black leather of Hiei's sailor fuku. His black gloves stretched past his elbows and his black boots went past his knees. A blood red jewel appeared in the center of Hiei's forehead, right on top of his jagan, and the golden tiara circled Hiei's spiky head.

You have to admit; Hiei's transformation was really the only kick-ass one.

"Rei Ken Power, Make-up!" Kuwabara declared a little _too_ enthusiastically. Once again, we are skipping his transformation because it's disgusting to even _think_ about. Remember, I do this because I _care_ about my reader's mental well-being.

Hiei paused and eyed Puu suspiciously. "Do you have a weird fetish or something, fluff ball? My transformation was the only one that removed my clothes."

Puu looked away and whistled innocently. He definitely looked up anime hentai in his spare time, just like Yusuke probably did.

"Um… guys, everyone's already dead." Yusuke looked around at all the dead bodies and laughed nervously. "We must've taken too long transforming."

Oops….

**TO BE CONTINUED**


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